Contest Piece Humorous - 2010: My Photographic Memory

Piece for Humorous Contest
Program Year   : PY 2009-2010

Title          : My Photographic Memory

Delivered at   : PICPA Riyadh Toastmasters Club

Evaluated by   : ACB/ALB Roi Ontiveros

Target Norm    : - not yet identified - 

Note:  

• The speaker won 3rd place behind TM Roi Ontiveros - 2nd, and TM Reina Tejano - 1st place

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Photographic Memory

Let’s check. Who among you here has photographic memory?  A gift of vividly remembering everything that your eyes seen.  And would it be nice to behold your wife, and remember she was Miss Universe… 20 years ago.  Though right now she is … Miss… Never mind!

Fellow Toastmasters, honorable judges, ladies and gentlemen, good evening.

I have a photographic memory!  And I learned this gift during my early years.  My father and I had this game called – 1 second glance.  That is, to look at a coconut tree for one second, and then mentally count the fruits.  I always beat my father in this game, not because I remember them all, but because I do argue better.  Say, I give a number less than the actual, I would simple say “I didn’t count the brown ones – it’s copra not coconut!”. Or if I give a higher number, I would argue “ah… I included those behind the tree”.  Poor father, tsk tsk tsk..

Came Middle School or high school. I realize that my photographic memory could make my life a lot easier.   During exams, I just sat beside my best friend – who happened to be the smartest boy – and then I apply the 1 second technique.  Bingo, I always have answers. Often, I have better grades than my best friend. You know why, I have other sources too: my other seat mates.    Photographic memory really works wonder, isn’t it.

After college I saw a lady, a feisty youth leader. Love stricken perhaps, I used my photographic memory to remember how beautiful is her face, how graceful is her poise, and how charming is her smiles.  And when I close my eyes, her image I would see her holding my hands and we would dance at each other’s embrace.  Few days later, I saw the lady again and I casually said “Pinky, let’s get married”?    She looks at me and said:   “and who are you”, she replied.   I guess, I over imagined her in my photographic memory.

Nevertheless, she agreed to marry me… after eight years of intimidation and coercion.

Came middle years – not middle school.  I notice that age can diminished photographic memory.  I easily lost track of things.  One day, I was angry with my wife and I was shouting “mommy, where is my sunglasses… and why is it dark here!”   My wife just smiled and said: “Daddy, it’s not dark.  Your are just wearing your sunglasses!”

Gee, it became worse. A year ago, me and mommy went to a movie to watch  Twilight.  In the middle of the show, I went out to go the toilet, and then went out of the mall and hail a taxi cab.  When I arrive home, I wondered “who took my car”.   Then inside and shouted “Mommy, I’m hungry, where’s dinner?”  Nobody answered. The nanny said: “Sir, you went out with her to a movie?”   Walawi, I forgot my wife in the movie house.   Indeed few minutes later, my wife came knocking on the door…  madly in love , no… she was  mad like a bull.  Husss!!!!!

Then one morning, I woke up and forgot I was married.  I was surprise to see someone was sleeping besides me.  To my horror, I saw a green face woman with large round white eyes.

Whoa! But I can accept that.  What worries me now is losing the memory of who I was.  Every time I look at the mirror, I am wondering who is that man looking back at me.  I think someone has invaded my body.  It’s not me anymore.  This was the face that I remember.  This is me!  Not that, This is me!  Huhuhu….  Not that!
Good thing, there is Toastmasters.  TMs are friendly and they always remember you. Like TM Arnold, he often calls “Hi TM Nathan, have you paid dues?”   Aren’t they caring?   There’s TM Willy too.   This morning, he called up reminding me – by the way why do they have to remind us, don’t they know I have a photographic memory! What was I talking?  A Willy! He reminded me to join in tonight’s International Speech contest.  Wait, this is International Speech competition, right?  Next week is humorous!  Whoah… I forgot.

Back to you contest master