CC Project #2: I am the Master of my Fate

Competent Communication Manual
Project #2: Organize your Speech
Speech Title: I am the Master of my Fate
Delivered at: PIPCA Riyadh Toastmasters Club

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Introduction

Do you believe that your destiny or fate is written in the stars? Who among here has read their horoscope today, or this week perhaps? Have you ever tried going to fortune-teller to read your future, and did you really believe that your fate is imprinted on your palm.

I confess, I was once a fanatic of palm reading, numerology, and the likes because I wanted to take a glimpse of my future. Who does not?

Body / Salutation

Fellow toastmasters, ladies, and visitors good evening. Tonight, let me share two school of thoughts that made me who I am today.

Wiki encyclopedia loosely defines "School of Thought" as a discipline concerned with questions of how one should live. It is a subset of general and more encompassing term "Philosophy of Life".

Let me ask you [choose an audience and ask], what school of thoughts do you adhere?

There are hundreds of schools of thoughts out there, but I will talk only of two that I feel has relevance to me.

Bahala-na School of Thoughts

First, the Bahala-na school of thoughts: I am sure you are familiar with this, and for sure, one time in your life, you did embrace this school of thought.

Michael Tan, the Filipino anthropologist first defined this school of thought as a misplaced submission on faith. He explained that some people use religion as an excuse in lieu of creativity, ingenuity, and perseverance. Instead of working hard or approaching a practical problem in a scientific method these people simply submit or give up to the challenge and give a lame excuse "bahala na" (let it be).

This is exactly what I experience in my early childhood.

I went to school but never bother to study my subjects. During exams, I would simple pray and say "bahala na si lord". My grand parents – who raised me – reinforced my twisted logic by saying everything is possible with "god" [emphasis of small caps lord and god]. They even said that giving priority to my religious chores would bear fruit and even quoted scripture to support their lines. Then they pointed out my scholarship grants despite my intellectual handicap, and being healthy despite inadequate daily meals as a proof.

Pragmatism School of Thoughts

My father on the other hand, embraces a different school of thoughts. He strongly believes every problem has a solution; otherwise, it is a mystery. His view in life is practical and simplistic. He said. If you have low school grades – study harder. I do not have money – find a work. If you want to succeed in the work place – work smarter.

He trained me on the concept of meritocracy, perseverance, and the value of hard work.

As I grow older and pursued further studies, I encountered the works of William James regarding Pragmatism. I just realized then, that my father was a pragmatist and not a charlatan.

Conclusion

What did these two schools of thought brought to me? Bahala-na made me a carefree individual waiting for things to happen for me. Here, I peg my future on a deck of cards or make decision based on the stars has predicted for me. I was lucky, I could say, but I never felt fulfilled.

However, when I accepted a pragmatic outlook of life, things looks different. Whenever problems arise, I view it as a challenge. And I used my head instead of emotion when making big decisions. I did not wait for things to happen. I made things happen.

Closing

My fellow toastmasters let me ask you once again. What is your school of thoughts? Are you contented with it? And, does it work? If it does – hold on!

If not, I am challenging you to think again. Explore and get out from your shell. Embrace a new school of thoughts.

Transform from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan as TM Ditas did. From a lurking accountant to blossomed CC like TM Ben did, and an able tennis player from a dreaming athlete like TM Fritz did.

As for me, I already made my choice.

I did not surrender to the wimps of the fates. Instead, I held the course and became the master of my fate.

Back to you toastmaster of the evening

Toastmasters: Ice Breaker

My first speech for the Toastmasters Club
Basic Manual: Ice Breaker
Evaluator: ATM-G/CL Ditas Tiamzon

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The Adventures of Jorge to Nathaniel

I remember it vividly. It was March 5, 1985, a day shy to be exact 23 years ago. I had this big predicament. I don’t have a JS Prom partner. I already approach a lady that morning, but was rejected on the simply grounds that I was not "cute" enough to merit as her consort. She said, "You are not tall, you're skinny and you belong to the bottom 10 of the graduating class."

That was hard and I took it seriously and when I saw my mom, I confronted her “Nay, bakit si tatay ang napili mo, di ka na naawa sa akin, kamukha nya ako”. Loose translation: “Mom why did you marry a gorilla, look at this monkey”?

My mom was shock of course. My father – I was afraid my father would punish me for insulting my mom and putting a bad light on our family name – simply said: "My son, the measure of a real man is defined not by his riches nor his achievements and certainly not his looks". "A real man is that person who has a large heart to understand what is right and what is wrong, and stand for it".

Hah big words, but that did not answered my problem. I don’t have a partner.

On the JS Prom night, I was surprised to realize that my partner was no other than the girl who rejected me – my Aphrodite, the apple of my eye. She was my first dance and my fist kiss. I don’t how it happened but surely my father pulled some strings. My father was a soldier and the girl’s father was a soldier too.

Fellow Toastmaster, guest, lady and gentlemen, good evening! Tonight I am going to bring you to my world of Jorge and his journey to Nathaniel. So sit back, relax, and fasten your seat belts. Let’s enjoy the ride.

I spend my formative years in the military camps of Cotabato provinces. We chase amphibian tanks and slip on the firing range just to watch the 105 howitzer cannon bombardments. Unlike my sister, I was never good in class. And during report card submission, my father would simply say with a wink: "okay lang anak, memorize ko na grade mo – it’s straight 75 or 76". But I would gleefully cut him, "tay, may 78 ako".

My mom would just smile and she would gesture: Jorge in school (thumbs down), responsibility (thumbs up). She would tell to her friends that Jorge could take care of his sisters, do household chores, and she could leave the house with Jorge in charge and never worry a bit.

Towards the end of elementary, I bribed my best friend – a son of a prominent family – to take his slot on the USAID scholarship. I don’t know if he was just naive or I was a sweet talker that he agreed. And to my surprise, I passed the scholarship and was rewarded 4 years free tuition, allowances and uniforms.

I was a scholar! Hah, big deal! Let us see the whole picture. There were 120 freshman students – all scholars – and I was ranked 117^th in the class. Not bad, I quipped, I can still beat 3 other boys. To compensate for my perceived handicap I join extra curricular activities. I joined theater, dance troupe, baseball team, tae kwon do & aikido, became famous and have many friends.

Then one day my teacher Sister Norma Aleman told me: “Nathaniel, you are not an idiot. You just don’t know how to focus. Set your mind on your goals and put your heart on it then you’ll succeed.” She was the first person who called me Nathaniel – my second name, and first person who believes in me aside from my father. And those words leave a big print in my heart.

And on May 4, 1985, m

My father and I had a manly talk. He said “my son, I want you to get out of my wings and find yourself in the real world”. “Be a man, and be a strong man”. “Never look back, and make me proud”.

That day, Nathaniel was born.

I created Nathaniel in the next six long years: number 4 in the dean’s list, student body president, joined LFS and lead a contingent during the siege to Malacanang on Feb 25, 1986. I almost got drunk with the power of fame had it not been with the intervention of a good friend Adora Lacson. She enlightened of what Nathaniel should be and gave me a poem IF by Rudyard Kipling that challenges Nathaniel to soar to greater heights.

I completed my BS Comp Sci, BS ECE, and not yet contented, took up MBA and joined the supervisory training program of Del Monte. I became a manager in a telecoms company, and I got my niche in the upper management when I was offered senior manager to manage 1500 agents for a call center.

I also took PhD just to please the “gods” of my workplace.But one day, I look in the mirror and ask that gentleman in front of me

“Are you happy? He didn’t answer

“Did you miss Jorge”, he blinks.

From that moment, I just realize, Jorge was knocking to get out. I was afraid. I don’t know him anymore, and he eventually got out. In a blink of an eye, Jorge changed what Nathaniel built for twenty years.

I gave up my management career, went abroad and work as technical consultant where I was naturally good. Along the way, I pick up photography – mastered it, traveled to places and meet new people, and was truly happy. Today, I am here in Riyadh. I met Ditas who opened the door for me to Toastmasters and Archie who lead me to get inside the door.

Riyadh is just a bus stop on this journey called life. The road ahead is still far and long with many bus stops to go, and I have many adventures yet to experience.

As I look back, I remember three people who made me what I am today: My father who told me the measurement of a man; Sister Norma Aleman who believes in Nathaniel; and Adora Lacson who told me that Nathaniel could soar to greater heights.

In parting my fellow Toastmasters, I want you to look at this gentleman speaking in front of you. Could you see the Nathaniel in him? Could you sense the Jorge in him?

I want you to look back onto yourselves. Is there anyone or someone knocking?

Back to you Toastmaster of the Evening!